Building a Support System in a New Country
Missing family sucks, but the friends you make abroad are priceless
One of my biggest concerns when we decided to move abroad was the fact that we were leaving our support system across an ocean. While we didn’t live super close to family in the US, it was feasible to think they could get to us pretty quickly if needed and vice versa.
In both South Carolina and Utah we had friends from college nearby that we knew we could reach out to and hang out with on a regular basis, so moving to both locations felt less daunting. But we didn’t have that luxury moving to Norway. My husband and I did know a few of the people making the move as well, but only in passing for me and as coworkers for him. We didn’t have established friendships before this move. As you may have gathered, it was the scariest move yet for me.
The majority of my husband’s coworkers are prior military, and many of them have families who are used to moving around for their jobs. This is not the way I grew up, so I’ve been adjusting to this new lifestyle of moving to new states and now new countries on a fairly regular basis. Eventually this lifestyle will end for us, but for now, this is our normal routine. I’ve had to learn how to make new friends as an adult, and while I’m getting better at it, it’s still a challenge. This past weekend proved to me that you can find a support system in new locations and make good friends at any age.
The community of people we are surrounded by here is amazing. It’s hard to believe we’ve only known each other for just over a year. You can make friends fast when everyone is in the same boat and wanting to create connections with others. We all know the importance of connection and avoiding isolation, but this becomes more apparent when you move to unfamiliar and new places. At least for me it did.
I felt an overwhelming sense of love and support over the weekend from the group of ladies I’ve befriended here. They threw me a tea party themed baby shower. This is our second child so I didn’t feel like we needed a baby shower or to be given a bunch of gifts, but the ladies insisted. To their point, we have moved abroad and didn’t bring everything we needed from home, so I conceded and they threw us a party.
Receiving gifts and the things we needed to bring a baby home from the hospital was nice, but the thoughtfulness behind each gift I received was what really blew me away. They basically decorated our nursery for us and got us not only cute, but practical baby clothes for living in Norway. One friend mentioned avoiding the color pink because I had said I didn’t like it much and opted for food themed clothing instead. If you know me, you know I love a food pattern on clothing, or anything else for that matter. The host also gifted me a tea set with a fruit pattern. It seems silly, but it showed me they listen and care. They put thought into what they were giving us for our new baby.
Many of the families have already offered to watch our 2-year-old when the baby comes, or anytime before then if we need some time for ourselves. It is truly a community of people who are ready and willing to help, and I think that comes from knowing what it’s like to move to a new area without family or lifelong friends to call when needed. They’ve been there, they know what it’s like to feel alone, and they want you to know you have their support.
The connections and friendships we’ve made here feel precious and unique. Our time with this group is short, not everyone will live in Norway for the rest of their lives, in fact, most if not all of us won’t, but we are each other’s support system while we’re here. We all need connection and to know there’s someone we can reach out to when needed. This move has taught me many things over the past year, but an important lesson I really felt over the weekend is that we can make meaningful connections with others quickly, if we are willing and open to it. Nothing will replace the support and love I have from my family and life-long friends back home, but it feels really good knowing I have people I can turn to where I’m living now.
